dark

six summers passed
i’m still in the same place
where I could remember
what exactly I dreamt.
but things aren’t the same
as how it was in the past,
it’s like the flowers
i desired to pluck when I was 18,
now my heart doesn’t want
to do the same.
deep inside I want to
listen to soft melodies,
but I end up listening to
a playlist full of darkness.
this instant
this sense of emotions,
it’s like I’m constantly living in a dream
shrouded with uncanny thoughts,
i can’t go past
i can’t catch the future ahead,
it’s today, it’s when I’m penning my thoughts
that i feel alive,
but why is it so painful
oscillating between things
which isn’t in our control,
there’s no such thing
like genie’s lamp
or time machine
to grant a wish
or to go and change anything,
life
sometimes it feels so uncomplicated
like making paper boats,
or sometimes it feels so rigid
like watching it sink.
but in the process of worrying
overthinking
dwelling
i just realized
today
i survived
one more summer.

The Untamed ~ Forever Part -1

How do I start or what can I say, there are lots of emotions that evolved while I started writing about ‘The Untamed‘(Chen Qing Ling). For a long time, I have thought of sharing my experience of watching this beautiful Chinese historical fantasy genre (Xianxia) series but since it had a huge impact on me, I was just re-watching it a lot of times that I even forgot the count. It’s been 4 years since the drama has been aired, and it’s like a rabbit hole but truly I’m so grateful that I found this series. It’s not just about the main leads but all of the actors gave life and justification to their characters.

Whenever I remember ‘The Untamed’ all I could hear is ‘Wu ji‘ in my ears, a beautiful flute song, the OST of the drama sung by the main leads themselves, Wang Yibo and Xiao Zhan. The best part of this song is the heart-touching poetic lyrics with a flute melody which made me fall in love with the Chinese language and made me want to learn it as well. This drama is 50 long episodes, I always don’t miss the end of the episodes where we can listen to this OST with drama scenes and I never once watched it without crying because it’s way too emotional.

Wu ji
Wu Ji performance by Wang Yibo and Xiao Zhan

Brew a cup of life and death’s joy and grief, to honour a young man
The bright moon is still the same, so there is no need for sadness
Why not soar high and free as a bird with the winds and waves
And sing this one song together to the world ~Wu ji


The live-action series is adapted from the Boy Love’ novel ‘Mo Dao Zu Shi‘ ( Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation) by Mo Xiang Tong Xiu. Though I haven’t read the novel and watched the anime version of this series, still I loved the storyline which was slightly different from the novel because of Chinese censorship of LGBTQ content. Everything about this series is perfect because of the actors who carried the show with their excellent acting.

The story follows the adventure of two soulmates, cultivators from their respective clans, who fight for justice and peace in the world. Lan Zhan aka Lan Wangji, who is always seen in an exquisite white robe carrying his sword (Bichen) from the Gusu Lan Clan (Cloud Recesses), and Wei Ying aka Wei Wuxian often seen in an elegant black outfit carrying his sword (Suibian) and in the later half of the story with his flute (ChenQing) from Yunmeng Jiang Clan (Lotus Pier).

So the best part is, their appearance is what their characters are exactly about like black and white, both are contrasting to each other. Lan Zhan is cold, upright, loyal, and introverted while Wei Ying is kind, energetic, mischievous, and extroverted. Despite their utmost differences, they create a beautiful bond, and unrestrained friendship which gives us chills that how can a relationship can be written like this so pure and trustworthy.


It’s very hard to tell the whole story as it is quite complicated. The plot starts with Wei Wuxian fighting against all five clans in the nightless city and no one wants him alive except for Lan Wangji, his soulmate. All in vain, in the end, Wei Wuxian throws himself off the cliff and dies. After 16 years, he resurrects through a self-sacrificing ritual and reunites with his soulmate, and solves the past mistakes and mysteries in his new life. So from now on I’m going to address them as Wei Ying and Lan Zhan, as it feels closer, and also it is the way they call each other affectionately.

The first half of 50 episodes is a flashback of Wei Ying, Lan Zhan, and other clan disciples attending the cultivation training in the Gusu Lan clan. This is where their friendship starts, at first Lan Zhan and Wei Ying, are like Yin and Yang, opposite to each other in their personality and thoughts. But as they go through life and death together on their adventure journey to defeat the Evil Wen Clan, the bond starts becoming stronger and they become lifelong soul mates. The latter half of the series is when Wei Ying comes back from death and starts a new life, I especially like the second half more as this is where both come to know about each other’s love and how much they have gone through and sacrificed for their loved ones.

“I Used To Think Of You As My Soulmate. I Still Am.”—Lan Wang Ji/ Wei Wu Xian


There are so many side stories and supporting characters, but this blog, I’m dedicating it to WangXian (that’s what we call them). So, I’m going to share a few of my favorite scenes from the series which made me feel what love is all about and made me think about how can someone create a story like this which truly touches your heart, soul, mind, and everything.

Reunite

Before the flashback episodes, we can get to see the scene at Dafan mountain where Lan Zhan and Wei Ying meet after 16 years where Wei Ying wears a mask to disguise himself to not get recognized by the people he met in his previous life. Despite that, our Lan Zhan founds that it’s him. When I first watched it I couldn’t get how exactly he found out that it is Wei Ying. But then comes the surprise, the song which Wei Ying played with his flute to calm down Wen Ning (ghost general) is composed and sung by Lan Zhan for Wei Ying when they were stuck in the turtle cave which only both of them had listened to and no one else. In the whole series, Lan Zhan speaks less but most of the things he speaks through his actions and expressions. Everything falls into the right place when he holds Wei Ying’s wrist and their long stare at each other with their song playing in the background. It screams you are back, we are together, and I will never lose you again.


Significant other

This is one of the sweetest things in the whole series, it’s about the sacred headband that all Lan Clan members must wear on their forehead. Lan Zhan is very mindful when it comes to his headband, as it means ‘to regulate oneself’ and to follow the rules. In episode 6, when Lan Zhan was drunk, his headband was tilted so Wei Ying attempts to make it straight but Lan Zhan knocks his hand away saying no one is allowed to touch it other than his parents and significant other. Later in the same episode, both of them get stuck in a Cold pond cave of Could Recesses. There Wei Ying gets attacked by an ancient zither ( Lan Clan instrument ) which attacks whoever doesn’t belong to Lan Clan. Then our Lan Zhan without hesitating removes his headband and ties it to both of their wrists with it. Because of this, the Zither identifies Wei Ying as Lan Zhan’s partner and accepts him as one of them. This is the start of their relationship, as Lan Zhan does something out of the blue that he doesn’t do for anyone.

The following episodes 13 and 14 are one of my favorites as in almost all episodes we could barely see Lan Zhan speak more but in these episodes, we can get to see a long conversation between him and Wei Ying. Also, we can see another headband scene and Lan Zhan’s singing song for Wei Ying which will make us assume how far their relationship has grown. Because of evil Wen Clan both of them get stuck in a cave where Lan Zhan’s leg gets badly wounded while trying to kill the turtle monster. Wei Ying applies medicine for his wound and to wrap his injured leg he removes the sacred headband of Lan Zhan without asking him and also puts it back on his forehead when he’s asleep even after knowing the importance of it.

After fighting for a long, both of them kill the monster, and Wei Ying gets badly hurt. This is when the famous theme song ‘Wu Ji’ is introduced which is played in every scene of them together. To comfort Wei Ying, Lan Zhan sings a self-composed song for him. When he asks the name of the song, we as viewers can see a blurred image of Lan Zhan lip-syncing ‘WangXian’ (Wu Ji) but our Wei Ying passes out before knowing it.

All these moments show how far they have come and how they are so ready to do anything for each other.

So, here comes the end of Part-1, will continue our Wangxian scenes in Part-2. Stay tuned.


My feelings

“My feelings!
You are a purple haze
I fear,
You will blow me away
From when did you trounce my soul?
I try to run away from you
But you locked me in the dark cage
You showed me the bunch of keys
Named each one differently
You asked me to pick one,
I shrugged fiercely
To choose the right one,
For I had always lived in dilemma,
Am I falling in love?
Or it’s just an attraction,
My feelings!
Show me the right key?
To open my heart which you have caged,
It’s hurting
Deep inside
Like Cactus piercing my flesh
I won’t resist
That you don’t exist
I smile
To hide you
But you find me
To seek you
Yes I’m here
Exhausted
Worn out
But still fighting with you,
Now stop playing with me
Show me mercy
Show me the right key!”