six summers passed
i’m still in the same place
where I could remember
what exactly I dreamt.
but things aren’t the same
as how it was in the past,
it’s like the flowers
i desired to pluck when I was 18,
now my heart doesn’t want
to do the same.
deep inside I want to
listen to soft melodies,
but I end up listening to
a playlist full of darkness.
this instant
this sense of emotions,
it’s like I’m constantly living in a dream
shrouded with uncanny thoughts,
i can’t go past
i can’t catch the future ahead,
it’s today, it’s when I’m penning my thoughts
that i feel alive,
but why is it so painful
oscillating between things
which isn’t in our control,
there’s no such thing
like genie’s lamp
or time machine
to grant a wish
or to go and change anything,
life
sometimes it feels so uncomplicated
like making paper boats,
or sometimes it feels so rigid
like watching it sink.
but in the process of worrying
overthinking
dwelling
i just realized
today
i survived
one more summer.